At about 2:00 pm CST I was thinking to myself that I should have stuck to my guns. I had wanted to take Tampa Bay over Atlanta, Houston over Indy, and Washington over Philly, but my better judgment didn’t allow me to. Luckily, my better judgment was correct, as all three teams who were losing at that time came from behind to eek out victories – Indy being the exception, who came from behind to blow out the Texans. It was an impressive display of guile from teams who hadn’t played well enough to win up until that point, but were able to put away their lesser opponents despite poor performances.

Dennis Dixon of Pittsburgh, starting his first NFL game at QB, did everything he could have done to win the game today, and should be commended for his effort. His stats weren’t good – 12-24 for 145 yards, 1 TD and 1 pick, but he didn’t let anyone down taking this game into overtime against a stout and hungry Ravens team. Not coach Mike Tomlin or any Steelers fan should be disappointed in Dixon’s performance in a game in which he entered having completed all of one NFL pass.

Vince Young may have had his official coming-out party vs. Arizona today, going 27-43 for 387 yards and the game winning TD, thrown with no time left on the clock. While I picked the Titans to win the game, I logically assumed it would be through the ground game.

The Titans rushing attack indeed worked the Cardinals for 160+ yards, but it was Young’s arm and savvy at the end of the game that won the battle for Tennessee. With 2:37 left in the contest Young was the beneficiary of at least one lucky bounce his way, but he still calmly rifled the game-winner with time expiring to ice it from AZ’s 12-yard line. He was 9-16 for 94 yards and a TD on the game-winning drive. And with that, I’ll say that I’ve held out long enough.

BEARS HOMER SECTION

Before I get into the results of the game, I was constantly reminded today of a quote from the movie version of Dragnet that seemed very fitting towards Bears head coach Lovie Smith, GM Jerry Angelo, offensive coordinator Ron Turner, and QB Jay Cutler. Dan Akroyd, a Chicago native himself, could not have said it better, in his concise, cutting style of succinct disgust as he interrogates some low-life:

“LISTEN HERE, HOTSHOT: I DON’T CARE ONE BIT FOR YOU OR THE PUTRID SLUDGE YOU’RE TROWLING OUT.”

It may seem trite, but reciting that line actually makes me feel better.  Today’s game was as every bit of the dominated and pathetic performance that I expected.  These hyperbolic and word-of-mouth stats are alarming:

- most yards given up by Chicago’s defense since 1982
- 4th-most yards of Brett Favre’s career
- 2 net yards in second half by the Bears’ offense
- First time in Chicago’s 89 year history that no first downs were made on a run

I can’t imagine much uglier of a game.  Jared Allen recorded 2 sacks, and the Vikings racked up 537 yards of total offense.  Chicago managed just 169 total yards complemented by 3 turnovers.  Minnesota did what they could to help the Bears with 10 flags, but alas, Chicago was destined to just plain get their ass whupped.

Jay Cutler threw 2 picks, with yet another in the red zone.  I believe it was his 7th this year, or maybe 8th, honestly I’ve lost count. 126 yards was his total on the day. THIS is what my team traded Kyle Orton and 2 first round picks for? THIS is what my team signed to a $50 million contract extension? On the Bears first possession following a gift-wrapped Adrian Peterson fumble, Cutler actually completed 3 passes. For 8 yards. The Bears punted. Kyle could have done that, and my team would still have first-day draft picks in hand, which by the way, look to be fairly high and valuable this upcoming draft.  

The rushing game was only able to muster 43 yards and the 36-10 score, while almost exactly as I called it (34-7), wasn’t as close as the margin indicates.  It was as pathetic and lopsided as a game as I’ve seen in the 22 seasons that I have called myself an avid Bears fan.  My father compared it to some of the early seventies, post-Sayers/pre-Payton games that were just awful, and I imagine that it did indeed compare.  And while I fell asleep in the 4th quarter and was treated to Brett Favre’s post-game interview as my personal hellish wake-up call, I have to imagine that it also compares to some of those late 80′s ass-kickings that I was to young to remember but old enough to have witnessed.

GO AHEAD, POUR SOME MORE SALT INTO THIS WOUND

Not only am I forced to swallow the swill this team calls an NFL-level effort, I am also enslaved to the advertisers for the various networks the NFL appears on, and subject to this motherf*cker every single f*cking Sunday:

I’ve yet to see a spokesman more hateable than this corporate-mulleted son of a bitch. I’ve yet to meet a single person that finds this guy effective in selling his product. I’ve yet to find a television personality that is more worthy of a Halloween/Hostel/Saw I,II,III,IV,V,or VI-style decapitation or disembowelment.

Can I get a witness?

contact email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com