2. The proprietor of this here football-themed website told me he thought my shutout prediction of the Bills by New England was a stretch, and I scoffed.  He was right.  Buffalo damn near pulled off a huge upset moments ago.  New England squeaked out a mouse-fart’s margin of a victory against Buffalo, driving anyone who bet that the Pats would cover the spread into an ulcer or a nuthouse or both.

3.  Even though the Houston Texans made it really easy on him, Mark Sanchez did some really impressive things in his rookie debut. At least six huge plays for him came on 3rd down, and one came on 4th, showing that ice water pulses in the veins of the kid from USC.  He showed a quick release, surprising mobility, and accuracy that several starting QB’s should envy.  Combined with (as we predicted) an aggressive, active defense, the Jets look to be a surprise in 2009.

4.  New Kansas City head coach Todd Haley got his first full-time position job with the Chicago Bears in 2000, and although he lost his opener versus Baltimore, his team put on a performance worthy of those Bears’ teams of old.  Big plays and scores by the defense and special teams fueled a close loss to a far superior Ravens team.  Brodie Croyle even got in on the act, tossing big throws late in the game to keep it close.  Joe Flacco eventually daggered them, but the Chiefs may be better than anyone thinks this year (FS Mike Brown also had 12 tackles, but that’s not necessarily a good thing given his injury history).

5.  The New York Giants had some throw-back performances against the Washington, D.C. football franchise.  Mario Manningham looked like the Michigan star he was with a 31-yard TD catch-and-run, and the D-Line had a resurgence reminiscent of their 2007 Super Bowl win.  Justin Tuck and Osi Umenyiora will keep abusing offensive lines (and spell checks).

6.  As impressive as Drew Brees was in his record-setting opening-day game with 6 TD passes, RB Mike Bell ran for 143 yards. But perhaps this proves that the Detroit Lions’ defense is still really, really terrible.

7.  The San Francisco 49ers looked like a team led by Mike Singletary. The Hall-of-Fame MLB kept his squad fighting for every yard and never losing hope against the defending NFC Champs.  I feel proud and stupid, as I wanted to pick them to win but couldn’t commit.  I predicted a better-than-expected performance from San Fran, but not a win.  I will choose more wisely in the future, and the rest of the league is on notice.

8.  Clinton Portis continues to be the engine driving Washington. Or more accurately, if he stalls, so do the R*dsk*ns.  He rushed for 62 yards on 15 carries, and 34 yards came on his first run from scrimmage.  Without a run game, QB Jason Campbell is not capable of carrying his team to a win against a quality opponent.

9.  There were the usual opening-week key injuries around the league:

-Brian Urlacher, Bears

-Anthony Gonzalez, Colts

-Donovan McNabb, Eagles

-Troy Polamalu, Steelers

-Hakeem Nicks, Giants

-Reggie Hayward, Jaguars

Here’s to a speedy recovery to all of these quality players.

10.  Of all the mistakes Jay Cutler made last night, the most overlooked one was his blowing the Bears’ final timeout on 4th and inches towards the end of the 3rd quarter.  I pondered this, thinking what could he possibly have seen from the Green Bay defense that made him reconsider the play call?  Isn’t this a fairly black-and-white situation?  Isn’t this play merely a comparison of these linemens’ testicle circumference?

Then I thought well, perhaps Chicago had some too-cute gimmick play called for the situation and Cutler saw that the Pack was prepared for it.  But even if that was the case, shouldn’t he have been equipped with the proper audible into a traditional 4^th-and-inches playcall?  Someone, either Cutler of offensive coordinator Ron Turner screwed that up.  There were multiple other mistakes, both player and coaching-related, but few have drawn attention to this one, which burned the last clock-stop for Chicago and made their final drive much more difficult.  Perhaps I’ll have the wherewithal to revisit this game, but most likely I’ll just pretend it didn’t happen and pray that everything works out next week.

Who are the Bears playing?  The World-Champion Pittsburgh Steelers?  $%#@&*!!!!!

New York and Philadelphia: 11-5

Dallas: 10-6

Washington: 7-9

THE NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS

On paper, the Giants defended their Super Bowl title admirably in 2008 with a 12-4 record, and improved on both offense and defense by 50 points or more.  But that doesn’t tell the story accurately.  Red-hot through 12 games last year, the Giants’ only loss came to Cleveland in an odd MNF-game in October.  Otherwise they were playing like a champion determined to repeat.  Then came the Plaxico Burress incident.

It’s easy to downplay Burress’ impact on the season, as he had led the Giants in receiving yards only twice in the season (weeks 1 & 2), but losing him in late November clearly had a negative effect: after the 9mm discharge and subsequent suspension/PUP listing, New York went 2-3 and lost a home playoff game to rival Philadelphia.  The loss made it 0-2 for quarterback Eli Manning in home playoff games (he’s posted dismal 35.0 and 40.7 QB ratings in home postseason games in his career).  Burress may have underwhelmed in most of 2008, but after he shot himself, an element was definitely missing from the Giants’ offense.

Rookie Hakeem Nicks, who had 144 yards and two TD’s in the Giants’ most recent preseason game, looks to replace Burress.  And although the Giants lost one of their two 1000-yd rushers from 2008 in Derrick Ward (signed a FA deal with Tampa Bay), Brandon Jacobs looks ready to carry the load with Ahmad Bradshaw.  Eli Manning signed a huge $97 million contract, which raised a couple eyebrows around the league.  Sure, he slayed the Goliath ’07 Patriots in the Super Bowl, but there’s the afore-mentioned crappy home playoff record, not to mention that New York finished 1-4 last season.    The Giants are hoping that both Manning and WR Mario Manningham (4 catches, 26 yards, 0 TD’s in 2008) both improve their games in 2009.

THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES

The two big stories involving the Eagles this off-season were the signing of Mike Vick and the death of defensive coordinator Jim Johnson in July.  Vick will likely have little impact on the 2009 season – by contrast, how the team reacts to Johnson’s death will be far more important to the Eagles’ record.  

Andy Reid wisely promoted long-time assistant Sean McDermott to defensive coordinator, who looks to continue Johnson’s legacy of fierce, well-disguised blitzes and general defensive tenacity.  Personnel-wise, the Philly D suffered an early setback with an ACL injury to MLB Stewart Bradley, the teams’ leading tackler in 2008, and have struggled with the decision of who should replace him.  But if 2008 proved anything, it was the Eagles’ ability to overcome adversity.

At week 12 in 2008, the Eagles sat at 5-5-1.  In the previous two weeks, Philly had suffered an embarrassing tie to Cincinnati and followed it with a 36-7 beatdown at the hands of the Ravens.  They looked finished.  But they won 4 of their last 5, and if it hadn’t been for the Cardinals, Philadelphia would have claimed Cinderella status in the ’08 playoffs, winning road games in Minnesota and New York before losing a tough NFC Championship in Arizona, 32-25.  Donovan McNabb played well, throwing 375 yards and 3 TD’s, but Larry Fitzgerald torched the defense to the tune of 9 catches, 152 yards and 3 touchdowns. 

That made it 4 losses and 1 victory in the conference championship game under Reid and McNabb, overshadowing the fact that the offense had scored a team record 416 points in the regular season under Marty Mornhinweg.  Rookie wideout DeSean Jackson had a solid season and the Eagles followed suit, drafting another 1^st-round receiver, Jeremy Maclin out of Missouri.  Look for McNabb to duel it out with Eli Manning for NFC East QB supremacy this year.

THE DALLAS COWBOYS

Disclaimer:  I don’t like the Cowboys.  Never have.  I celebrate every year in which they extend their streak without a playoff win (13 seasons and counting).  I despise the undue attention they get and the very mention of Jerry Jones’ name puts my teeth on edge.  But that’s why I feel the 10-6 prediction is very accurate and objective.  I tried to find more losses in there, I really did, but I couldn’t.  Maybe in reality they’ll split with Washington instead of sweeping, but I doubt it. 

Tony Romo: “Yeah, I’m crying.”

Booting Terrell Owens from their shiny new locker room should unify this team, and if Roy Williams really is worth a damn then he’ll show it this year.  He may have to wait for a sort-of broken collarbone to heal, but even if it is fractured he should be back by the time the games really start to count.

This team took a big step back in 2008 from a 13-3 ‘07 season, but T.O. leaving should be worth a one-win improvement from last year.  Tony Romo dumping Jessica Simpson should provide stability.  The Cowboys are relieved to have gotten the following headlines out of the way before week one:

     -       Jessica Simpson dumped by Tony Romo, reportedly sad

     -       Jessica Simpson puts a hex on the Cowboys via the internets

     -       Jessica Simpson’s lingerie didn’t do it for Tony Romo

     -       Jessica Simpson’s cheerleader outfit didn’t do it for Tony Romo

     -       Jessica Simpson’s partying is what ended the relationship

     -       Jessica Simpson calls her dog a lesbian

Tony Romo: “Yep, I’ve had about enough.”

However, after Dallas’ season-squashing, week 17 44-6 defeat at the hands of the Eagles, a couple non-Jessica-Simpson storylines have taken place, both involving problems with team buildings: the practice facility collapsed in a storm during the team’s rookie minicamp, injuring an assistant coach; and the Texas-sized video board in the Cowboys’ new stadium has caused some controversy.  Neither story should make impatient Dallas fans forget that the ‘Boys were 1-3 in the last month of 2008. And that Tony Romo is now 5-8 for his career in the month of December.  And that Marion Barber finished the year with a 3.7 per-carry average and fumbled 7 times.  And that that Wade Phillips is still the head coach.  And that Dallas’ last playoff win was in 1996.  The beat goes on, deep in the heart of Texas…

THE WASHINGTON D.C. FOOTBALL FRANCHISE

Like division rival New York, Washington started the season fast at 6-2, and withered down the stretch, finishing 2-6 and losing 4 of their last 5 games.  They made headlines by signing free-agent D-tackle Albert Haynesworth to a $100 million deal, and by doing everything they could to alienate starting QB Jason Campbell.  You’d think after attempting to trade for Jay Cutler, and then attempting to trade up in the draft to get SoCal QB Mark Sanchez, Campbell would pout.  But he hasn’t, and has left it up to his performance this season to prove he belongs.  He’ll need more than the 13 TD passes he had in 2008 to do so, but he is a stable, steady guy with competence and upside, and could take a big step this year.  But somehow I have them losing a game more than last year and finishing last at 7-9.

Clinton Portis: Eccentric individual 

The team went as Clinton Portis went last year – during an 8-week stretch between weeks 4 and 12, Portis ran for 120+ yards six times, and Washington won 5 of them.  But both Portis and the club fizzled after that, with Portis reaching as much as 80 yards in only one game the rest of the way.

Perhaps if the team finally decided to change mascots they might have some good karma coming their way.