Posts Tagged Flying Pigskin

NFL 2009/10 WILDCARD PLAYOFF PICKS

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At the beginning of the season, I hitched a ride on two AFC bandwagons, Baltimore and the New York Jets. Then I quietly slid off of them when both teams took a nosedive after Week 4. But now that they have both scrapped their way back into the playoffs, I am sneaking back on to their bandwagons, and I will be pretending that I was there the whole time.

 

JETS at BENGALS

 

I like a lot of things about the Jets, but what I like most is what I learned just this week: that Doug Plank is a member of the Jets’ coaching staff. For those who may not know, Plank is the namesake of Buddy Ryan’s ‘46′ Defense, and if that doesn’t mean anything to you, just Google it. I don’t have time to explain it to you. But Plank was stupid mean and unafraid to destroy.

 

doug plank. online photo, no source available

 

So now Plank is coaching with the paunchy fruit of Buddy’s loins, Rex, for the Jets, who take on the Cincy Bengals this weekend. One of three rematches from last week, this one is probably toughest to call. I’m going with the Jets, because their O-Line, run game, and defense should win them at least one playoff game. They will be rabid and violent on both sides of the ball, and I don’t care that they’re on the road. Jets win 24-13.

 

RAVENS at PATRIOTS

 

Gotta love Ray Lewis. In an interview with Boston media today Lewis managed to insult and show respect to Tom Brady at the same time. It was a masterful display of trash-talking with tact – he poo-pooed the recent reports of Tom Brady’s rib and finger injuries, dismissing them as a ploy to distract a team into focusing on capitalizing on it, and that’s when the Patriots have you. He said that you have to play the Pats straight up or they’ll kill you, and he’s right. You can’t get drawn into selling out to pressure Brady, because he will be ready, and even without Wes Welker, New England is very hard to contain, let alone stop.

 

ray lewis.  online photo, no source available

 

Then he all but called Tom Brady and the whole Patriots organization a bunch of tea-drinking p*ssies, and to get out of his face with all this pansy-ass bullsh*t about broken ribs and fingers.  Everyone’s hurt.  If you have a jersey on come Sunday, no one’s worrying about what specifically may or may not be cracked and/or bruised. They will inflict pain.

 

I’m rooting for the Ravens but I have to pick the Patriots. I bet New England wins off of some BS flag with less than a minute to play because someone breaks wind in Golden Boy’s face and then he gets pink eye, but still wins the game. Pats 28, Ravens 24.

 

PHILLY at DALLAS

 

The Eagles pissed me off last week.  How could they lay down like that when the division, the No. 2 seed in the NFC, and bragging rights over the Cowboys were on the line?  Come on, that ain’t professional.  I’d be okay with a hard-fought, well-played loss, but to get smoked outright showed a lack of pride that I would find alarming if I were an Eagles fan.

 

I’m not an Eagles fan, although I like Philly, I like Donovan McNabb, and I really bleeping hate the Cowboys.  I’d like to believe that beat-down motivates them to man up this weekend, but Dallas is red hot, and Tony Romo has to win a playoff game sometime.  The fact that this year’s scenario looks so ripe for Romo’s picking probably means he’s most likely to choke it away, but nothing like that ever happens to me.  I hate you, Tony Romo.  But you probably win.  Cowboys 31, Eagles 17.

 

GREEN BAY at ARIZONA

 

Easy.  Packers.  Don’t really need to go into it.  If you’re thinking Arizona, you’re wrong.  Cheddar With Holes In It 35, Cardinals 10.

 

contact email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com

 

 

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Week 15 Wrap: Favre-ageddon is upon us, WWDD

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I must toot my own horn again. I predicted back in August that this could end up being a problem. When Brett Favre strode into Winter Park atop his alabaster steed of salvation, I thought that benching him would create a huge issue for the Vikings coaching staff.

 

brett favre.  online photo, no source available

 

In a chuckle-inducing display of insubordination, The Gunslinger kicked in the saloon doors and let everyone know that the guy with the glasses and beard wasn’t in charge. At least not while he was around and had a one point lead in the 3rd quarter of a winnable late-season conference game.

 

All Favre did was yank his arm away from Childress when the coach reached out to grab it, but he may as well have grabbed his crotch and flipped him off. There’s lots of psycho-analytical angles that many people have already taken on this issue, so I will attempt a different tact: What Would Ditka Do?

 

The correct answer is that benching Favre for fear of his safety would have never been an issue had Mike Ditka been coaching last night. In a hypothetical confrontation, Ditka’s widows’ peak alone would have Childress pissing himself and begging his forgiveness. But in a different hypothetical, one in which Favre were to nationally televise his own lack of respect for that Widows’ Peak, what would Da Coach do?

 

Da Coach.  online photo, no source available

 

The correct answer is that yeah, Ditka would scream and yell, but Favre would have stayed in the game anyway. Jim McMahon wasn’t half the QB Favre is, and he got away with all kinds of sh*t with Ditka. McMahon would throw three picks and Ditka would lay into him as he walked off the field, and McMahon would snicker, make fun of him behind his back, or maybe just clear his sinuses and hock a big loogie on the ground right at Ditka’s feet.

 

There are reports that Favre has already mutinized his coach twice before, so this episode isn’t a surprise to anyone in the locker room. Which is great for Favre, who has taken to calling his own plays, and it’s bad for the team, who is stuck with a pussy coach who has lost all authority with any players now on the roster once Favre leaves.

 

Many Vikings fans and haters are both saying “I told you so” right now when it comes Childress’ contract extension. Even the testicle-bathing Twin Cities sports media is quick to let Chilly have it for allowing Favre to hump him so brazenly and on television. Don’t underestimate how big a story this is here in the Twin Cities. Favre is taking full advantage, media whore that he is. Not only did he usurp power visibly during the game, but he strode to the podium and declared himself the victor in that argument.

 

Much is being said here about whether Favre understands how detrimental his behavior will be once he leaves the team. The response to that is that Favre doesn’t give a f*ck. It is naive to think that Favre cares about anything else other than beating the Packers and winning a Super Bowl, and in that order. He doesn’t care about the coach, the fans, the team, or anyone else. He’s Favre. He cares about Favre.

 

BEARS HOMER SECTION

 

This isn’t really worth it, but I will say that next week’s game against Minnesota on Monday night just got more interesting, but only till the point in the game in which the contest will likely be over, which will be right after kickoff.

 

I know the motivation of a division rival on national TV can drive a team to play better than normal, and the Bears will play better than they did yesterday. But they still don’t stand a chance. The Bears haven’t beaten a team this season that didn’t suck. The Pittsburgh game doesn’t count, that was their fluke win that gave them a shred of early credibility.

 

And while the Vikings are a lot of things with a lot of weaknesses, they most certainly do not suck. And there’s no way that the Purple lose this one after the loss at Carolina. It was exactly what Minnesota needed to do to ensure victory and to sweep the division on Monday night.

 

OH YEAH, THE SAINTS LOST TO THE COWBOYS THIS WEEK

 

The only thing I can offer up about this game is maybe to point out how terrible New Orleans’ final two-minute drive looked. Everything was to the middle of the field, the attempts that failed didn’t make sense, and the Saints played with no urgency. It was kind of disappointing as a fan who hasn’t seen every Saints game this year and was expecting some surgical, skilled hurry-up offense out of New Orleans.

 

Instead it was a lethargic effort to just get the game overwith, and even then they weren’t completely out of range. Drew Brees had a crappy game, and I guess that just happens. It really doesn’t do anything except deflate the notion that the Saints were unbeatable at home. Now they’re not unbeatable, but it isn’t like going into the Superdome is easy because the Cowboys did it.

 

I talk as much sh*t as anyone about the Cowboys, and any Cowboys fan who may have been to this site likely is long gone, never to return. But I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t say something about how good the Cowboys looked, particularly the pass rush, with DeMarcus Ware coming back from a scary neck injury. But no one in a Dallas uniform ever looked intimidated by anything New Orleans was doing, on either side of the ball. That was a cocky win in an nearly impossible atmosphere.

 

NON-DENOMINATIONAL HOLIDAY WELL-WISHES

 

To anyone who may read this and not be checking back in before Xmas is mercifully at hand, Flyingpigskin.com wants to thank you for your clicks and response this season, and also wish you a very safe and cheerful winter-holiday season. When the family is making your blood-pressure rise and you need a break from that tiny, sweltering living room that you’re crammed into on Christmas Eve, come see us on your iphone-dealie and I will have something up that will give you a laugh when you need one. It may not even be football related. It may be offensive. But it will be funny. Seasons’ best to you and yours.

 

christmas.  online photo, no source available

 

contact email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com

 

 

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NFL 2009 WEEK 15 NFL PICKS – YTD: 147-70 (68%)

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A busy pre-holiday week caused me to miss picking Thursday’s game, and to miss all but the last three minutes of the actual contest.  It was a classic, and the Jacksonville Jags need to be recognized for the game they played.  At 7-6, they took on the 4th-ranked Colts defense and came away with the following stats:

 

25 FIRST DOWNS
10-16/3RD DOWN
4-4/RED ZONE
139 RUSH YARDS
ONLY 22 PENALTY YARDS
1 TURNOVER
31 PTS (only the Pats have put up more on Indy, 34 in the 4th-&-2 Game)

 

David Garrard tossed 3 scores with one pick.  The Jags threw everything they had at the Colts and it wasn’t enough.  And it wouldn’t have mattered if the game would have been 120 minutes long, the Colts would have just kept scoring.  I don’t know what team I can pick over Indianapolis or New Orleans, so there’s my Super Bowl prediction.

 

Goin’ out on a reeaal limb there.

 

MARQUEE

 

DALLAS at NEW ORLEANS: A very watchable game for the casual NFL fan, featuring tabloid star power on one side, and actual NFL star power on the other.  There’s no way that Dallas has the cojones to knock off the Saints at home, so I may as well not waste our time here.  New Orleans 27, Dallas 20.

 

CINCINNATI at SAN DIEGO: I want to say that this is pretty much the same game as above, unfortunately.  The Bengals organization is in shock over the death of Chris Henry under bizarre circumstances, and the Chargers will be playing at home on an 8-game win streak.  The Chargers won’t be taking it easy on Cincy, and the Bengals will likely be grateful for that, because it will allow them 3 hours of escape from this past week.

 

Chris Henry.  online photo, no source available.
Late Bengals WR Chris Henry

 

I want to pick the Bengals because I like them, and even though Henry was a troubled individual, he was their troubled individual, and his nature doesn’t make his death any easier for his teammates.  Can’t speak for his family.

 

But San Diego simply is playing at a very high level right now.  I hope this is a quality product, and I gotta take the Chargers.  SD 34, Cincy 27.

 

SAN FRAN at PHILLY: I like this game, and maybe that is wishful thinking.  But I like how the 49ers get turnovers in big bunches.  I’m still picking the Eagles but this will be a good one, I promise.  Philadelphia 25, SF 21.

 

CHICAGO at BALTIMORE:  I know what you’re thinking, but there’s something really compelling about this game too.  It will go one of two ways: either the Bears’ offense completely melts down and Jay Cutler has to be removed from the game; or the Chicago offense will put together it’s best performance of the year, because the Ravens defense is still good enough to sharpen their focus all week.

 

Ray Lewis.  Online photo, no source available.
I nominate Ray Lewis as Bad MF of the decade.

 

I’m guessing that the first scenario is more likely, but it is during this time of the season when a team has been eliminated from contention and the pressure is off – which could mean solid execution by Chicago in all three phases. Baltimore however, is still actually playing for something, which means a lot more.  Ravens 27, Bears 23.

 

MINNESOTA at CAROLINA: This is a trap game for Minnesota if there ever was one.  They had an emotional, convincing victory at home over a good team last week, and now they travel to a natural surface, possible inclement weather at night, against a team perceived to be far inferior.  I would consider this a trap game for any team in the same situation, but given Minnesota’s traditional propensity to drop late-season games, I can’t help but pick the upset.

 

vikings.  online photo, no source available.
I live in the Twin Cities. I’m tired of the Vikings. So here is some alternative visuals.

 

I know that the Vikings are likely to win this game.  If I was putting money on it, I’d say Minnesota wins, and even covers the 9-pt. spread.  But I don’t bet, so I’ll take the Panthers in the Upset Special: Carolina 24, Vikes 21.

 

EH, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT

 

MIAMI at TENNESSEE: I think this game has a few good highlights in it, but probably also a lot of runs straight up the gut for gains of 3 or less yards.  If you’ve got this game on in your market or if you get all the games, keep checking on this one to see what it’s boiling down to in the 4th.  With all the running, it will probably be a pretty short game.  Titans 26, Dolphins 23.

 

GREEN BAY at PITTSBURGH: The Steelers lost to Cleveland at home, so how can I pick them over a team that I think is one of the best in the league right now?  It’s true that the Packers didn’t leave me that impressed in their win over Chicago last week, but Pittsburgh’s O-Line is so bad that I can’t imagine much going the way of the Steeler offense.  Packers 30, Steelers 14.

 

NEW ENGLAND at BUFFALO: I think that the Patriots have the potential to whip ass in this game, but I don’t think you should care.  Patriots 35, Bills 13.

 

ATLANTA at NY JETS: Both these teams hover precariously around .500, and are still capable of both getting stomped and administering stompings on any weekend.  The Jets, they’re at home: 17-10.

 

NY GIANTS at WASHINGTON:  The ‘Sk*ns are way cooked, and even though the Giants are still barely alive in the playoff hunt, they don’t deserve to be.  I just don’t think they’ve earned it.  And as proof, I’m taking the D.C. Football Franchise to win:  Racial Slurs 24, Giants 16.

 

MISMATCHES

 

I’ll take the favorites to win by the score of 34-9:

 

ARIZONA at DETROIT
HOUSTON at ST. LOUIS
OAKLAND at DENVER

 

FLUSH THIS POO

 

CLEVELAND at KANSAS CITY
TAMPA BAY at SEATTLE

 

I guess I’ll take the home teams, since I have to.  Gross.  HOME 13, AWAY 10 in both of these dreadful and monotonous affairs.

 

Email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com

 

 

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NFL 2009 WEEK 14 PICKS – YTD: 135-66 (67%)

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Snow = Whiskey.  Irish Whiskey.  That’s my intro this week. 

 

Jameson Irish Whiskey.  online photo, no source available

 

I hate Minnesota, and not just the Vikings.  I hate the winter here more than the Vikings.  If the Vikings sucked this year, there would really be nothing to pay attention to this season.  At some point I should admit I was wrong about the Vikings, like when I proclaimed they had peaked in Week 5.  I was wrong about that.  Though now there are chinks starting to surface with this Purple team.  But first things first:

 

MARQUEE

 

DENVER at INDY: I know I have to pick the Colts, so I might as well cut to the chase and say it.  I could go really n-depth and try to find some reason that the Broncos will win, but ultimately it wouldn’t matter much, because although I think this will be a very good game, the Colts should pull it out in the end.  Colts 27, Broncos 21.

 

CINCY at MINNESOTA: Here’s what I see in this game: a sloppy but hard-fought affair with lots of flags, flared tempers, mistakes and injuries.  The Vikes’ lines are starting to show signs of wear and tear, and while the Bengals aren’t as imposing as they were earlier in the year, they’ve caught the Purple at a good time.  The Minnesota offensive line in particular is hurting, and the defense will play without Antoine Winfield for the 7th straight game.

 

Losing EJ Henderson to a broken femur was a huge blow to this team last week.  It’s the type of injury that takes momentum away from the whole team, as they’ve lost a leader for the rest of the season and are already shaky in the tackling department with ‘Toine still on the bench.

 

ej henderson.  online photo, no source available
Both of these teams miss both of these guys right now.

 

Cedric Benson is licking his chops, and the Bengals aren’t afraid to just keep feeding him the ball.  In 3 of his last 4 games, he’s carried the ball 34 times or more.  He’s gone over 100 yards each time, and while its true that the Vikes run D is stout with the Williams Wall in place, Benson could fare well.

 

In the end, the Vikes will get a cheap win because of a bad penalty.  Favre will probably play like garbage but have a good enough last drive to win the game.  I’ll say Vikes 28, Bengals 25.

 

SAN DIEGO at DALLAS: The Battle of the D-Bag QB’s.  Rivers is better, even though Romo gets the press.  My loathing of both of these teams prevents me from putting too much thought into this pick.  I called it last week that the Cowboys would drop a critical game against a beatable opponent, so I really shouldn’t say that two weeks in a row.  Lucky for me, I don’t have to, because San Diego isn’t beatable right now.  They’ve won 8 straight, and Dallas just isn’t good enough to slow them down.

 

phil rivers.  online photo, no source avaiiable
Phil Rivers haunts my dreams

 

How come the Chargers aren’t getting much love from the national press?  All tucked away down in SoCal, the Four Letters aren’t giving them too much love (although I wouldn’t know because I can’t stand “The Mothership”).  Or maybe it’s because everyone hates Phil Rivers.  Chargers 29, Dallas 17.

 

PHILLY at NY GIANTS: Picking this game like going to a strip club with Pac-Man Jones.  You have no idea what could happen.  Could be a good time.  Could be the worst night of the year.  The one constant to me seems to be that New York is incapable of beating a solid team who is playing at a high level.  No, two wins vs. Dallas doesn’t count, at least not to me.  Now the Eagles barely qualify as solid and high-level, but they are really good, at least when playing a decent team, at hiding the flaws they have.  I’ll take the Eagles, although they’ll probably let me down.  Philly 31, NYG 22.

 

MISMATCHES

 

New Orleans did their best last week to blow it, which is why they should really kick ass this week.  They lead off my list of blowouts, which I’ll take the italics to win by the score of 34-10:

 

SAINTS at FALCONS
CAROLINA at NEW ENGLAND
ST. LOUIS at TENNESSEE
ARIZONA at SAN FRAN
DETROIT at BALTIMORE
GREEN BAY at CHICAGO

 

DON’T EXPECT ME TO CARE

 

PITTSBURGH at CLEVELAND: Steelers by a TD, even though they lost to the Raiders last week.  Cleveland is despondent at this point, and just waiting to see who replaces Mangini at head coach at season’s end.  Pittsburgh 17, Browns 10.

 

NY JETS at TAMPA BAY: Really, I have better things to do at this point.  Even if that includes watching reruns of South Park while my dog passes gas in my direction from the other end of the couch.  I told you she shouldn’t be fed tofu.  Jets 17, Bucs 7.

 

MIAMI at JACKSONVILLE: No one outside of Florida cares about this game, not even a little.  I don’t care if Jacksonville has admirably clawed their way back into the playoff picture.  Their record will only point them toward a first-round draft pick that won’t really help them.  Jags 30, Dolphins 23.

 

SEATTLE at HOUSTON: Yep, Matt Schaub is a good QB.  Don’t care.  Texans by two dozen, 24-12.

 

WASHINGTON at OAKLAND: Oakland has proved to be a trap this year for teams who think they’re good enough to beat them without trying.  Philly, Pittsburgh, and Cincy have all lost to the Raiders.  Unfortunately for the Black Hole, Washington will play them straight up, because they have little reason to think that they’re capable of winning easy.  And I’m a little tired of people acting like Jason Campbell is such a garbage QB – he’s thrown for passer ratings in the 90’s or higher 7 times this year.  He’s at least capable.  Sk*ns 24, Raiders 20.

 

WEEK 14 TOILET BOWL – BUFFALO at K.C.: Wow, I can’t believe they’re even going to suit up for this one.  I don’t really see why they should.  Gotta sell some hot dogs and beer, I guess.  Chefs 22, Bills 17.

 

Email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com

 

 

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FIVE REASONS THE BEARS ARE GARBAGE

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The Chicago Bears have lost 6 of their last seven games, with the lone victory coming against Cleveland at home.  That game shouldn’t even count, and not just because it was against the Browns.  The Bears played like trash in that one too.  Even though it’s hard to narrow it down, here’s a look at 5 reasons the Bears are sh*tty once again:

 

REASON 1: WEEKS 2 & 3 OF THE 2008 SEASON

In consecutive weeks last year, undisciplined and sloppy mistakes by only two individuals derailed the Bears’ entire season.

 

In Week 2 at Carolina, tight end Greg Olsen fumbled twice, losing both.  The first was at the Carolina 27, ending a drive that would have put the Bears up by two scores.  The second was at the Bears’ 26, setting up a TD that put the Panthers within striking distance, and eventually losing the game.

 

greg olsen fumbles.  online photo, no source available

 

The following week at home vs. Tampa Bay, Charles Tillman committed a heinous unsportsman-like conduct penalty after the Bears defense had held Tampa Bay to a punt on their 3rd possession of overtime.  Not only that, Tampa Bay was inside their own 10 yard line when Tillman decided to engage in fisticuffs.  Tampa Bay, given new life in the extra period, drove right down into FG range and booted the game-winner.

 

The above synopses don’t scratch the surface of how Chicago drastically outplayed their opponents yet still lost those games.  Had the Bears been disciplined enough to win these two, the rest of the season could have played out exactly as it did anyway, and Chicago would have won the division at 11-5 and gone to the playoffs.  The final-game meltdown in Houston would have mattered none, in fact Chicago could have rested starters without being challenged for the division crown, and there would have been no temptation to trade away Kyle Orton and the bevy of draft picks for Jay Cutler.  No seven red-zone picks that clearly have cost Chicago multiple games this season.  No dismal future with gaping holes that can’t be filled because of 2 consecutive drafts without a first-day selection.

 

kyle.  online photo, no source available

 

No one will call me neutral when it comes to my disdain of Jay Cutler, nor for my fondness for Orton, but even I understand that Bears management felt the need to jump at a QB of Cutler’s caliber when they had the chance.  If for no other reason than to keep him off of the Minnesota Vikings, who right now would look pretty set for the next decade with Cutler and Adrian Peterson at the helm.  But Cutler’s regression, combined with the hefty mortgage for his services, makes the trade second-guess-able, and it will be until Cutler bears fruit.

 

REASON 2: THE 2003 NFL DRAFT

 

I know what you’re saying – that’s a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?  Really, just how much impact does a draft six years ago have on this season’s debacle?  The answer is: a lot.

 

Chicago went a dismal 4-12 in 2002, earning them the No. 4 overall pick in the 2003 draft.  2002 included an 8-game losing streak that stretched from September 15th to November 24th, and Bear fans across the nation deserved an impact rookie player in return for the pathetic performance.

 

GM Jerry Angelo started things off right in retrospect.  That year, the favorite of NFL Draftniks at the #4 slot was Kentucky defensive tackle DeWayne Robertson, who Angelo wasn’t high on at such a pricey draft position.  He would command big money, and seeing as Robertson is currently without an NFL home only 6 seasons later, Angelo was correct in not picking or paying him.  He found a sucker to trade with in the New York Jets (a favor the Jets would repay Angelo for down the road, but I’ll get to that later), who sent Chicago their 2 first-round choices, the 14th and 22nd picks, for the right to draft Robertson at no. 4.

 

This was an excellent trade, and would be viewed as such if Angelo didn’t take Penn State DE Michael Haynes at 14 and Florida QB Rex Grossman at 22.  We all certainly remember the rollercoaster Grossman took Chicago on during his tenure there – in fact, a QB who took his team to a Super Bowl in only his 3rd season can’t really be viewed as a bust.  But Haynes was an inexcusable disaster.  Haynes was cut from the Bears after their ’06 Super Bowl loss, and never dressed in another NFL uniform.  He was signed to the practice squads of the Jets and Saints, but was cut from both before Week 2.

 

rex grossman humped.  online photo, no source available

 

Perhaps if Angelo would have spent one or both of those two 1st-rounders (or his original 4th overall pick) on any of the following Pro-Bowlers he passed on, the Bears may still be reaping the benefits of a terrible 2002 season-this is why that draft still matters now:

 

DT Kevin Williams (Vikes)
OT Jordan Gross (Panthers)
CB Terrance Newman (Cowboys)
DE/LB Terrell Suggs (Ravens)
CB Marcus Trufant (Seattle)
RB Willis McGahee (Bills)
RB Larry Johnson (Chefs)
FS Troy Polamalu (Steelers)
CB Nnamdi Asomugha (Raiders)
WR Anquan Boldin (Cards)
DE Osi Umenyora (Giants)
LB E.J. Henderson (Vikes – hasn’t made the Pro Bowl yet, but will)
TE Jason Whitten (Cowboys)
CB Asante Samuel (Patriots)

 

I’ll let that squad of superstars sink in a while.

 

Ready?  Okay.

 

REASON 3: CEDRIC BENSON

 

That’s right kids, the Bears are still reeling from the mess Benson left in his drunken-boat-captain wake.  Not only did the Bears not need him as they already had Thomas Jones on the roster, they took him at that same cursed No. 4 spot, which the Bears had earned after another dismal season, only 2 seasons after their last top-5-draft-pick-earning craptastic year.

 

Benson quickly got to work on his 36-day training camp contract holdout, after which he immediately split the locker room by pretty much acting like a total assh*le.  Actually, assh*le doesn’t really adequately describe Benson’s behavior, but I’ll let other Bears fans give you their colorful opinions of Cedric Benson if you’ve been swayed by his resurgence in Cincinnati, and you mistakenly believe that his release from Chicago was foolish.

 

cedric benson.  online photo, no source available

 

But, you might say, they got rid of himHow is he still affecting the teamBesides, the 2005 draft was quite possibly the worst draft in the history of the institution – there were nothing but busts in the entire thing – and on that point, you’ll get no argument from me.  Cedric Benson wasn’t even the biggest bust of that draft.  That honor would probably go to top pick Alex Smith, or perhaps the lovable and cuddly Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones.

 

Well, remember how I said earlier that the Jets would have their revenge for getting tricked into trading up for DeWayne Robertson?  Well, here’s why – the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets happily took Thomas Jones off of Chicago’s hands for a 2nd round pick.  Turned out to be a steal, as TJ was an All-Pro selection the following season, and this year ranks in the top 5 in every rushing category there is, along with leading the league in carries.

 

Thomas Jones.  online photo, no source available
Thomas Jones: Apparently too much beast for Chicago

 

But Jones was a locker room favorite in Chicago, and for that reason, he had to go.  Benson was taking up too much salary-cap space to be the source of controversy, so despite only producing marginal results at that point in his career (as well as taking himself out of the ’06 Super Bowl like a pussy), Benson won the job, and Jones had to be jettisoned.  On top of losing a great talent and the spiritual leader of the offense, the Bears used the 2nd-round selection they got for Jones on defensive end Dan Bazuin out of Central Michigan.

 

The natural response to that fact, which would be “Who the f*ck is Dan Bazuin?” is the exact reason that Benson is a reason the Bears are garbage now.

 

dan bazuin.  online photo, no source available
Here’s Dan Bazuin. Don’t recognize him? Me either.

 

Think I’m finished? I’m just getting warmed up.

 

REASON 4: REPLACING MIKE BROWN WITH JOSH BULLOCKS AND AL AFALAVA

 

I don’t mean to directly disparage Al Afalava.  For a guy who was drafted 190th overall out of Oregon State and was pushed into the starting lineup because no one else would even take the job, he’s done fairly well.  But the he had some enormous, if often-injured, shoes to fill.

 

I won’t even disparage Angelo for moving on from Mike Brown, a guy who will never pay for a meal in Chicago for the rest of his life.  Mike Brown was so good at his position that his annual injury would kill all momentum for the Bears defense.  He was too good to lose during the season, so the Bears had to lose him altogether, and not have to count on his presence to be the factor that it always was.

 

mike brown.  online photo, no source available

 

But he played an enormous role in the defensive success of Angelo’s tenure, and his position was far too crucial in Lovie Smith’s Tampa-2 scheme not to fill with a competent replacement.  The only free-agent the Bears tried to cover their asses with was Josh Bullocks, who has seen almost no time at all in the few games he’s actually been given a jersey and pads for.  They didn’t address the gaping hole via the draft until they took Afalava with the 16th pick of the 6th round, and if Angelo honestly thought he was drafting Afalava to start this year, then he needs to be fired on that basis alone.  Perhaps Afalava can grow into the starter that the Bears need him to be, but his rookie status as the quarterback of this defense is a huge factor in the Bears’ sh*tiness now.

 

REASON 5: MATT FORTE WAS NEVER REALLY VERY GOOD

 

I hate to say it, but Matt Forte’s reputation as a decent running back in the NFL has stood largely on one highlight, and that would be a highly-viewed 50-yard TD run on opening night in Indianapolis last season.  He outran Bob Sanders on the play, which was all the reason anyone needed to hype the kid as the next great Chicago tailback.

 

The truth is that Forte had all of three 100+ yard games in 2008, and didn’t break 4 yards per carry for the season.  Yep, I myself argued for his rookie of the year candidacy, given that he was responsible for more of his team’s total offensive production than any other player in the league.  But the fact that Chicago’s passing game largely revolved around an average tailback was an indictment of the Bears’ pass-catchers, not a complement to Forte.

 

matt forte.  online photo, no source available

 

Forte can be a good runner if given ideal conditions, and that means big holes in front of him and a passing game that is actually a threat.  Take one or both of those elements away and he becomes not only average, but spark-less.  He should be moved to H-Back, as he is still a good blocker and receiver, but shouldn’t be relied on to carry the Bears run game by himself.

 

That 50-yard TD on opening night was a signal to Bears fans that the days of watching the sleepy Cedric Benson plod around and fall down in the open field were over.  Benson was so bad that even a middling rookie looked like the next coming of Neal Anderson by comparison.  But Forte has turned out to be exactly what you would think when you watch his highlights from Tulane – the next Anthony Thomas.  Solid rookie year, and it’s all downhill from there.  Unfortunately for the Bears and their fans, the Bears will likely start him as their “featured back” as long as Lovie Smith is around.  Now would be the time to spend another high draft pick on a running back, like they did with Cedric Benson, but Angelo will likely be too in love with his own draft pick to challenge him, also like he did with Cedric Benson.

 

In conclusion, f*ck you, Jay Cutler. Here’s another really stupid looking picture of you, of which there are many.

 

jay cutler.  online photo, no source available

 

 

Email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com

 

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