Week 13 produced some crazy bleepin’ games this weekend, perhaps the most of which being Oakland at Pittsburgh, which ended in a stunning upset of the Steelers at home. Ben Roethlisberger returned to the lineup and threw a decent game, but it wasn’t enough to overcome Troy Polamalu’s absence in the defensive secondary.
Without the Samoan safety, the Steelers let Bruce Gradkowski pick them apart on his way to a game-winning TD pass with :09 left to play, as well as supplying all kinds of “the last time” stats in regards to the Raiders. Of course, almost any Raider win is going to be chock full of “the last time” stats, including “the last time” they won a game.

But this particular game included 5 lead changes in the 4th quarter, even though Pittsburgh was only 2-5 in the red zone. It’s hard to imagine that the final period went down like that and the Steelers didn’t win. That’s 4 in a row, now including losses to the Chefs and the Raiders in that stretch.
Another crazy game was New Orleans and the R*dsk*ns, with New Orleans winning a game they never led in until the final gun sounded in OT. It was playing like a classic trap game for the Saints – big win in the previous week against a high-profile opponent, and then playing down to a lesser opponent on the road. Then the 4th quarter happened. Washington missed a chip-shot with less than two minutes to play that would have put them up by ten, and it was all downhill from there. Depending on your allegiances, it was either a complete meltdown by the ‘Sk*ns or a heroic comeback by New Orleans. Saints coach Sean Payton seemed determined to punish the D.C. Football Franchise by sending his offense back onto the field after “icing” timeouts directed at their kicker.
The Saints had been set up for a FG attempt with 7 seconds left by an interception thrown by D.C., when Jim Zorn tried the classic “Ice the Kicker” routine, to which Payton responded by putting Drew Brees back out there to try to pick up more yards. It didn’t work – Brees threw incomplete and the Saints missed a 55-yarder that put the game into overtime.

In OT, Zorn again tried to “Ice the Kicker” by calling a timeout that was so close the officials’ whistle didn’t even come before the snap. Instead of attempting a 33-yarder that wasn’t a sure thing, Payton marched his offense back onto the field, which promptly ran the ball down to the one-inch line. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Zorn again called a timeout before the chip-shot attemot from the 1, which of course didn’t work.
The Saints karmically kicked the game-winner, and I pronounced that if I were Sean Payton, I would have greeted Zorn at midfield with either a loogie-lubed handshake, or simply Happy-Gilmored his ass by shaking with the left, pulling his jacket over his head from behind with the right and then punching his teeth out with his arms defenselessly pinned down by his shirt. What a punk. I guess it’s not enough that your team has a blatantly racist and offensive mascot, you gotta play like a dick too.
Capping off the Week 13 Wackiness was Miami beating New England and New York beating Dallas. The latter game really isn’t a shock, but the Patriots losing kinda was. Or was it?
Mike Florio pontificated of the fishy line movement on this game right before kickoff, wondering why exactly the spread had moved from favoring the Pats by 6.5 at the start of the week to a push in most books by kickoff. It was pretty strange, and the speculation was that Brady was not playing and insiders had the info that the league and media didn’t. That turned out not to be the case, but the public was correct in some fashion, betting heavy on the Dolphins to beat the spread and Miami ended up winning outright. Hmm.
BEARS HOMER SECTION
Is this really even worth it? Yep, Chicago beat St, Louis today, with our $50,000,000.00 QB completing all of 8 passes for 143 yards. Matt Forte, lead rusher for the NFL’s dead-last running attack, was able to muster 91 yards against the NFL’s dead-last running defense. Way to go, boys!

Team President Ted Phillips, thoroughly enjoying this tripe
The Monsters of the Midway rip-roared their way to an anemic 248 total yards of offensive production, and I no longer have the energy or patience to even rip this pathetic squad, let alone try to spin a victory against a crap team into something Bears fans should care about. The only thing I will say is that this team’s 3 victories that have happened since the long-ago month of September have come against Detroit, Cleveland and St. Louis. In those 3 victories, Jay “$50,000,000.00 Extension” Cutler has averaged 169.2 yards a game. Whoo-motherf*ckin’-hoo.

I will however say this: in 6 weeks, when my team is packing up their belongings and going off to their Hawaiian or Jamaican villas for the month of January, I will be pissed that my season is finished. With only 4 games left for my Bears’ season, I must appreciate the fact that I am a fan, and have something to do on Sundays instead wait to go to bed.
If I may finish with one final statement for this week, it is “Go Cardinals!”
Email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com








