So the title may be blunt.  So an article/title about sodomy on a football website may not be viewed as ‘pertinent’ or ‘appropriate’ or ‘correct,’ but after forcing myself through last night’s NFL Network Thursday Night Football debacle, I have to say something and I have to say it loudly (and most definitely inappropriately – I apologize to everyone in the world offended by the article, with the exception of Matt Millen and Bob Papa):

Matt Millen - Turning NFL Broadcasting's Brown-Eye Blue!

Matt Millen and Bob Papa are the cleft-palates of NFL commentary . . .

Matt Millen and Bob Papa are the toothless grins of NFL commentary . . . (the old and creepy kind – not ‘kid-with-lollipop’ kind)

Matt Millen and Bob Papa are the ‘ripped half of my tongue off as a child, licking the pole outside in an ice storm’ of NFL commentary . . .

Matt Millen and Bob Papa are the ‘why the long face’ jokes of NFL commentary . . .

Matt Millen and Bob Papa are the . . .  (insert witticism here . . .)

I could go on, but frankly I’m sickened by the lack of energy coming from the NFL’s own television network.  It’s appalling to think that the league can’t find someone with not only some credibility, but an announcer’s voice for crying-out-loud.  I had to re-adjust the audio settings on my television, receiver, and cable box six times before I was convinced that it was in fact the absolute worst commentary (audibly) that I’ve ever heard.  I’m tired and its been a long few days, so I’m going to leave it up to the FP readers to provide me with some witticisms.

Dear God, make a change for football fans around the country!  Smite them, oh Mighty Lord with fire and brimstone (is that right?), as they sodomize the beauty that is broadcasting!

I beg you . . .

PS – please comment and throw in your clever lines:
Matt Millen and Bob Papa are the . . .  (insert witticism here . . .)

I can’t wait to hear some clever jabs!