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Jay Cutler and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

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Poor Jay. On a night when his defense finally showed up against an opponent who had been taunting them all week with boasts to “destroy” them, Jay was the one to crap himself repeatedly. 5 times, to be exact. Zero touchdowns, five interceptions. The game left him with 17 interceptions through 9 games.

Jay Cutler.  online photo, no source available
Finding good pictures of Cutler is really easy, especially when he throws 5 interceptions.

It’s funny that this game was on the NFL Network, because there will inevitably be a few remaining Cutler apologists out there who weren’t able to see the game or DVR it, and they will take a look at the box score tomorrow and build their case for Cutler’s defense:

He completed 29 passes for over 300 yards. They made him throw 52 times because the run game is terrible. His protection was likely suspect, so he was probably on the run and his receivers effed up.

In a different game, these arguments may be valid. But those who watched the game would know that 4 of Cutler’s picks were no else’s but his own, and that he should have thrown another one. Cutler’s 2nd pick was the result of Devin Hester losing his footing and missing an otherwise well-thrown pass. But in Cutler’s other 4 interceptions, and particularly the two inside the red zone, he had clear throwing lanes in front of him and/or good protection. On one INT he was kind of caught up in traffic and he flipped a clumsy shovel pass to Forte, who couldn’t reach it, but Cutler wasn’t hit on the play and would have been much better off either running or taking a sack if he had to.

Jay Cutler.  online photo, no source available

Each of his two interceptions from inside the 49er 10-yard line were after long drives by the offense, and they were both remarkably bad throws. Cutler tried to argue that his 4th interception should have been interference because his huge 3rd-string tight end Kellen Davis was somehow knocked on his ass by a safety half his size before the ball was caught, which is true. But the safety was playing the ball all the way, and he had just as much right to it as Davis did.

Of course, the ultimate Cutler apologist’s talking point has no place here either, which is that in every multiple-pick game this year (except for Week 1, which was an abberration. Cough), Cutler has had to throw wildly because they were down so many points. Nope. Chicago never trailed by more than 4 after the first quarter in this one.

It was a spectacular meltdown, and after all that, he has to fly back to Chicago and talk to all those mean newspaper reporters who ask him stupid questions.

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THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL IS WHACK

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I was supposed to go to a good friend’s place tonight to knock back a couple drinks and find some escape from the monotony of the inbred corporate hell that my day-to-day life exists in. But instead, I have to be chained to my satellite dish to watch Thursday Night Football. Thus:

 

MY BEARS-49′ERS PICK

 

49er Tight End Vernon Davis made a bit of a splash this week when he predicted that the 49ers would “destroy” the Bears.  It would have been a bigger splash if everyone didn’t think he was right.

 

Vernon Davis.  Online photo, no source available

 

San Francisco is this week’s lucky winner of the NFL’s “Boost Your Weakest Standing Sweepstakes” as they play Chicago at home on Thursday night.  Can’t run, Arizona?  Here’s the Bears, at your service.  Can’t rush the passer?  No problem, Cleveland – sack Jay Cutler 5 times!

 

Got a headcase rookie wide receiver that needs a big game in front of a home crowd?  Do you have a running back who hasn’t broken 100 yards since Week 2?  Got a head coach whose questionable intensity has only produced a 3-5 record? Oh, and he’s also a Hall-of-Fame MLB who is coaching his first game against his old team?

 

Have I got a deal for you!

 

Not only will the Chicago Bears allow you to publicly humiliate them, you don’t even have to choose which offensive category you wish to dominate them in.  In two of their last three games, the opposing quarterback has thrown for an AVERAGE of five (5) touchdowns, and the opposing offense racked up an AVERAGE of 198 rushing yards.

 

Chicago Bears.  online photo, no source available

 

Michael Crabtree, Frank Gore, and Mike Singletary, come on down!  This Bears defense will quiver in fear of your below-average passing attack!  Your 19th-ranked offense will belly-laugh at the cowardice of the Chicago defenders!  They will disgust you as you pummel them into a vegetative state!

 

49ers DESTROY the Bears, 42-17.

 

contact email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com

 

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