JETS at BENGALS

I like a lot of things about the Jets, but what I like most is what I learned just this week: that Doug Plank is a member of the Jets’ coaching staff. For those who may not know, Plank is the namesake of Buddy Ryan’s ’46′ Defense, and if that doesn’t mean anything to you, just Google it. I don’t have time to explain it to you. But Plank was stupid mean and unafraid to destroy.

So now Plank is coaching with the paunchy fruit of Buddy’s loins, Rex, for the Jets, who take on the Cincy Bengals this weekend. One of three rematches from last week, this one is probably toughest to call. I’m going with the Jets, because their O-Line, run game, and defense should win them at least one playoff game. They will be rabid and violent on both sides of the ball, and I don’t care that they’re on the road. Jets win 24-13.

RAVENS at PATRIOTS

Gotta love Ray Lewis. In an interview with Boston media today Lewis managed to insult and show respect to Tom Brady at the same time. It was a masterful display of trash-talking with tact – he poo-pooed the recent reports of Tom Brady’s rib and finger injuries, dismissing them as a ploy to distract a team into focusing on capitalizing on it, and that’s when the Patriots have you. He said that you have to play the Pats straight up or they’ll kill you, and he’s right. You can’t get drawn into selling out to pressure Brady, because he will be ready, and even without Wes Welker, New England is very hard to contain, let alone stop.

Then he all but called Tom Brady and the whole Patriots organization a bunch of tea-drinking p*ssies, and to get out of his face with all this pansy-ass bullsh*t about broken ribs and fingers.  Everyone’s hurt.  If you have a jersey on come Sunday, no one’s worrying about what specifically may or may not be cracked and/or bruised. They will inflict pain.

I’m rooting for the Ravens but I have to pick the Patriots. I bet New England wins off of some BS flag with less than a minute to play because someone breaks wind in Golden Boy’s face and then he gets pink eye, but still wins the game. Pats 28, Ravens 24.

PHILLY at DALLAS

The Eagles pissed me off last week.  How could they lay down like that when the division, the No. 2 seed in the NFC, and bragging rights over the Cowboys were on the line?  Come on, that ain’t professional.  I’d be okay with a hard-fought, well-played loss, but to get smoked outright showed a lack of pride that I would find alarming if I were an Eagles fan.

I’m not an Eagles fan, although I like Philly, I like Donovan McNabb, and I really bleeping hate the Cowboys.  I’d like to believe that beat-down motivates them to man up this weekend, but Dallas is red hot, and Tony Romo has to win a playoff game sometime.  The fact that this year’s scenario looks so ripe for Romo’s picking probably means he’s most likely to choke it away, but nothing like that ever happens to me.  I hate you, Tony Romo.  But you probably win.  Cowboys 31, Eagles 17.

GREEN BAY at ARIZONA

Easy.  Packers.  Don’t really need to go into it.  If you’re thinking Arizona, you’re wrong.  Cheddar With Holes In It 35, Cardinals 10.

contact email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com