Posts Tagged trent edwards

NFL WEEK 4: A LESSON IN CRAPTASTIC-NESS

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I sat and watched most of the 14 minute-plus overtime period between the Bengals and the Browns.  I don’t know why.  I guess I was looking for one of the two teams to show that they were interested in winning the game.  It was one of those stretches when the field looked enormous and it simply seemed impossible that either team could score.  I was almost right, if it wasn’t for Cleveland finally deciding to be crappy enough to go ahead and lose.  One thing I will say though, is that Josh Cribbs is a flat-out monster.  He’s gotten a lot bigger since his rookie season, and plain looks mean when he has the ball.  He’s at least worth watching the highlights every week.

 

Speaking of crappy teams, the R*dsk*ns and the Bucs battled it out to see who could claim to be the crappiest team on the East Coast.  Turns out it’s the Bucs.  Though not for a lack of effort by Washington, who committed four turnovers and still won the game.  ‘Sk*ns QB Jason Campbell was astoundingly bad, throwing 3 picks and losing a fumble, but still knifed through the (now officially garbage) defense of Tampa Bay to throw the winning TD pass.  The two teams combined for a combined 6 of 27 on 3rd down, and a whopping 252 passing yards.  Blecch.

 

Amazingly, neither of these teams are the worst in the league. That distinction belongs solely to the St. Louis Rams, who have lost 14 straight, and have been shutout twice in this young season, both times by teams in their own division.  I need not say more of the St. Louis club, nor much of the teams that destroy them each week – although I must call attention to the disciplinary prowess of Mike Singletary’s 49ers, who only drew 3 flags all game and committed no turnovers while gut-stomping the Rams 35-0.

 

Dallas and Denver both looked inept, combining for 6 of 26 on 3rd down, as well as a combined 17 penalties for over 150 yards.  Lucky for Denver, Tony Romo looked worse than anyone on the field. While his stats aren’t outrageously bad, his performance was unwatchable – unless you hate the Cowboys, which I do.  Before WR Sam Hurd damn near bailed him out in the 4th quarter on a sissy little 7-yard outlet pass that Hurd took 53 yards inside the Denver 15, Romo had made every mistake possible:  botched snaps, lost fumbles, his 8th-career pick in the red zone, leading his receivers into getting drilled by safeties (Roy Williams may be urinating blood after chasing a Romo misfire in the 4th quarter), and all-around poor decision making.  Up until Hurd’s late catch-and-run, Romo had 36 yards passing in the 2nd half, and had been throwing terrible balls for several series in a row.

 

tony romo gets sacked.  online photo, no source available

 

I thought that Dallas would expose Denver’s defense as a hoax, but it was Denver who exposed Romo’s Cowboys as garbage.  Wait, hasn’t that happened already?  On several occasions?  Oh, I forgot – they’re the Cowboys.  That means they’re still considered good until Bill Parcells says that they in fact suck.

 

 

OTHER CALLS I GOT WRONG:

Ravens at Patriots: A very well-played, hard-fought game until the last drive, when Baltimore WR Mark Clayton dropped two passes, one for a TD and one for a first down on 4th and 6, which ended the game.  The latter was in his chest, but he couldn’t haul it in.  Disappointing for a Ravens team who played well enough to beat the Patriots.

 

Jets at Saints: Okay, now I really mean it:  I won’t be picking against the Saints again.  Before you dismiss the Jets though, note that the NY defense did it’s part, holding New Orleans to less than 350 total yards and only 10 points.  The Saint’s D made up for it, scoring two TD’s.  Tough game for the adorable and charming Mark Sanchez (if you say his name out loud with emphasis on the ‘chez’, he sounds even more charming).

 

Bills at Dolphins: Backup Miami QB Chad Henne wasn’t required to do much, as the Dolphin twin RB’s Ronnie and Ricky piled up 200 yards and 3 TD’s.  Buffalo QB Trent Edwards did his part too, throwing 3 picks.  Dick Jauron’s clock is ticking in upstate New York.

 

Tennessee at Jacksonville: Wow, the Titans are about finished already, and it’s not even week 5.  This slump is a mystery to me, and I can’t imagine how Titans coach Jeff Fisher feels.  He has consistently fielded a tough, balanced, competitive team since he became head coach, and this thing has now spun out of control.  The playoffs are out of the question, the Titans are now relegated to just trying to win a game.

 

 

BEARS HOMER SECTION

Another win, another grumpy homer.  The Bears let Detroit rack up 21 points in the first half, and 3rd-and-long is again looking like a gimme against the Chicago defense.  They give up two 3rd-and-5’s, two 3rd-and-6’s, as well as 3rd downs of 7, 9, and 10 yards, the last of which yielded a touchdown.

 

Yes, the Bears came on strong in the 2nd half, but how does Lovie Smith leave Zackary Bowman, a 2nd-year corner with about 5 games under his belt, one-on-one with Calvin Johnson for the entire first half?  On the first play from scrimmage, Lovie brought the house and watched as rookie QB Matt Stafford calmly faced down the blitz and dropped the ball perfectly into Johnson’s basket for 45 yards.  As if that wasn’t enough, Lovie then let Johnson continue to roam unchallenged for 123 first-half yards.  Hey Mr. Smith – the Lions have one good receiver, how about you pay him the respect of a double team before he lights you up single-handedly?

 

On top of that, the Bears left the stadium limping.  Devin Hester, Johnny Knox, and special-teams ace Adrian Peterson all were knocked to the sideline.  Knox was dinged after he had an impressive 102-yard kickoff return for a score to open the 2nd half. Thank the Lord for the coming Bye Week, the Bears need it.

 

Jay Cutler.  online photo, no source available.

 

Some positives were there, like Adewale Ogunleye’s dominating performance, Matt Forte’s big day (although it was almost all on two runs), and a big-time turnaround in the 2nd half in all three phases of the game. Looking better, but I still think they’d get beat down by an elite team, one of which likely resides in the division. We’ll certainly know more about that after a highly-anticipated matchup tomorrow night.

 

contact email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com

 

 

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AFC EAST 2009 Projections

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In 2008, the Miami Dolphins took the AFC East by storm with a 10-game turnaround from ‘07.  Led by a former rival QB who felt disrespected, a new coach in Tony Sporano and an easy schedule, the Dolphins were the comeback kids of the NFL.  But in 2009, the return of Tom Brady will keep them from consecutive division titles:

 

New England Patriots: 13-3

Miami Dolphins: 10-6

New York Jets: 7-9

Buffalo Bills: 3-13

 

THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

There isn’t much to glean from the 2008 season that is statistically relevant to this year’s Pats.  We all know the ‘08 story – Brady went down in Week 1 with a very re-watchable knee injury, and FNG Matt Cassel took over, leading the squad to an 11-5 record.  The Patriots were the first team since the 1985 Broncos to miss the postseason with 11 wins, which puts another chip on the shoulder of Napoleonic coach Bill Belichick.  Cassel was then traded to Kansas City to become the new Scott Mitchell.

 

Tom Brady.  online photo, no source available
 

 

If I can point to any negative for the Patriots, it’s that everyone has access to the tape of the 2007 Super Bowl and should know that to beat New England, you must pummel Tom Brady.  But to everyone’s dismay, the Golden-Gal will be back throwing 7-yard slants to Wes Welker all @&%#ing day until their opponents get so annoyed that they leave Randy Moss wide open – just so Brady throws it to someone else.

 

It should be noted that the Pats saw two really old centerpieces of their defense retire, LB Teddy Bruschi and safety Rodney Harrison.  I didn’t like either of them; Bruschi was too wholesome, Harrison was a cheap-shot, and both played too well for their age.  But FB Kevin Faulk will make up for them in the Pats’ Geriatric Ward: in his 14th NFL season he averaged 6.1 yards per carry and had 58 catches, and in his 15th he’ll have Brady back.  New England better make sure that Rogaine and Viagra aren’t on the Banned-Substance list.

 

Two people in bathtubs.  online photo, no source available
Rodney Harrison and Teddy Bruschi celebrate their retirement together.

 

THE MIAMI DOLPHINS

As previously stated, fate loved the Dolphins in 2008, and although it will do them no favors this year (they won’t have the AFC and NFC Wests to pick on), the Dolphins have a solid, if not almost-elite team.  Chad Pennington will continue his underrated, un-flashy performance if his running backs can continue theirs.  Last year, counter-culture icon Ricky Williams even provided clean urine for the entire season

 

Pennington was his typical safe, even-distribution-self with only 7 INT’s, and he led 5 different receivers to finish with 400-plus yards.  After those guys, the first 3 tailbacks on the depth chart each had more than 200 yards receiving, and the balance proved valuable late, when Miami won 9 of their last 10 games.  Pennington compiled nearly 3700 yards and finished 2nd in the NFL with a 98 Passer Rating.

 

 Chad Pennington.  online photo, no source available

But the biggest surprise was on defense: Miami went from 30th in points allowed in 2007 to 9th in 2008.  The 120-point improvement on defense is almost as jaw-dropping as winning 10 more games. 

 

One guy to keep an eye on is tailback Lex Hilliard, a 2008 practice-squader from Montana.  He’s run very well in the preseason, and is bigger than both Williams and Brown at 5-11, 240.  Starting FB Lousaka Polite only has 5 pounds on him, so look for some solid production out of the kid from Kalispell if anyone gets hurt or visits Jamaica during the Bye week. 

 

 Ricky Williams.  online photo, no source available

 

THE NEW YORK JETS

It’s reasonable for one to expect a bigger hangover from the Brett Favre experiment, and perhaps I’m giving new coach Rex Ryan and his big-name rookies too much credit.  I’ve got them winning tough-ish road games in Houston and Tampa, which could be a stretch for Mark Sanchez. 

 

With Laveranues Coles leaving for Cincinnati, New York is thin at receiver.  Hence their flirtation with trading for headcase Brandon Marshall – Jerricho Cotchery is reliable, but Sanchez could use a bigger target.  Either way, he’ll lean on runners Thomas Jones and Leon Washington, with rookie Shonn Greene providing injury insurance.  But Sanchez strikes most observers as competent, and I think 7-9 is possible even for a team performing a major overhaul.

 

Mark Sanchez.  online photo, no source available.   

Vincent Chase Mark Sanchez, USC.


Rex Ryan wisely brought LB Bart Scott along from Baltimore to help on defense, and if I may get scientific for a moment, Ryan also brings impressive genetics.  He and his father Buddy Ryan have overseen some of the best defenses on record:  Buddy with the late-70’s Vikings and 1985 Bears, and Rex with the Ravens of late.  Rex’s little brother Rob also won a couple rings coaching the linebackers in New England from 2000-2003.  That’s a total of 4 NFL Championships, making the Ryan clan more prolific than the reigning NFL royalty, the Manning family.  Although I think Archie, Peyton and Eli have typically played much better with other kids than Rex and Rob’s old man ever did.

 

 

THE BUFFALO BILLS

The tougher schedule will treat no team worse than Buffalo, and it’s only a matter of time before Terrell Owens comes unglued.  Coach Dick Jauron isn’t off to a great start either, apparently deeming it wise to pink-slip offensive coordinator Turk Schonert about 10 days before the opener.  On defense, the Bills ranked 21st in 2008, and have done virtually nothing to fix it except draft DE Aaron Maybin, who held out through all of training camp and is currently listed 3rd on the depth chart.


Trent Edwards.  online photo, no source available

 

Ultimately, yawn-inducing QB Trent Edwards won’t be able to pacify both T.O and 2nd-fiddle (but probably better) WR Lee Evans, which will lead to the clichéd turmoil that has followed Owens everywhere he’s played.  The nation’s collective eyes will roll when the media tries to get us all to gasp at T.O.’s predictable cry-babying, so maybe we should find some other divisive butthole to demonize in 2009.  

 

Jay Cutler, your table is ready.

 

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