I was supposed to go to a good friend’s place tonight to knock back a couple drinks and find some escape from the monotony of the inbred corporate hell that my day-to-day life exists in. But instead, I have to be chained to my satellite dish to watch Thursday Night Football. Thus:

MY BEARS-49′ERS PICK

49er Tight End Vernon Davis made a bit of a splash this week when he predicted that the 49ers would “destroy” the Bears.  It would have been a bigger splash if everyone didn’t think he was right.

San Francisco is this week’s lucky winner of the NFL’s “Boost Your Weakest Standing Sweepstakes” as they play Chicago at home on Thursday night.  Can’t run, Arizona?  Here’s the Bears, at your service.  Can’t rush the passer?  No problem, Cleveland – sack Jay Cutler 5 times!

Got a headcase rookie wide receiver that needs a big game in front of a home crowd?  Do you have a running back who hasn’t broken 100 yards since Week 2?  Got a head coach whose questionable intensity has only produced a 3-5 record? Oh, and he’s also a Hall-of-Fame MLB who is coaching his first game against his old team?

Have I got a deal for you!

Not only will the Chicago Bears allow you to publicly humiliate them, you don’t even have to choose which offensive category you wish to dominate them in.  In two of their last three games, the opposing quarterback has thrown for an AVERAGE of five (5) touchdowns, and the opposing offense racked up an AVERAGE of 198 rushing yards.

Michael Crabtree, Frank Gore, and Mike Singletary, come on down!  This Bears defense will quiver in fear of your below-average passing attack!  Your 19th-ranked offense will belly-laugh at the cowardice of the Chicago defenders!  They will disgust you as you pummel them into a vegetative state!

49ers DESTROY the Bears, 42-17.

contact email: nick.thomas@flyingpigskin.com